Each year, I test the bounds of my courage and connect deeper and deeper with my soul. This development gives purpose to my journey here.
Some people would call me unstable I suppose. But, I sort of embrace Earl Nightingale's philosophy, "When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." So, those judgements of whether I'm crazy or not, are neither here nor there to me. :)
This year's big trip was to Europe. A week in Amsterdam, concluded by a music festival in a park there. I made sweeping changes in my life before, during and after this trip. After 7 crazy days, filled with the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows, I transformed more than I had ever imagined possible.
I spent most of my time posing in front of windmills, bouncing around from coffee shop to coffee shop and taking in the variety of amazing restaurants and scenes. Those were the highs.
Then, there were the lows. My hotel room was robbed and I spent 2 days getting a new passport, reporting the crime and wandering around for 2 days in the same clothes with no deodorant, hairbrush-nothing.
But something amazing happened...
I was able to look myself in the mirror and see how very beautiful I was. Standing there, in filthy clothes, hair practically in dreads and not a shred of makeup on, I looked right into my eyes and recognized who I really was on the inside.
Through all of the challenges I faced in those 2 days it took me to figure it all out, I saw the authentic me for the first time ever. I stopped judging myself, recognized the good in me and was proud of myself.
All of these good and bad times culminated in the most amazing experience I have had in my life to date, with the exception of the birth and the adoption of my sons. I danced the night away, barefoot in the grass, to a blues & rock n roll concert in a park in Utrecht, Netherlands. I saw my favorite musician perform there, Beth Hart. And I reconnected with my body and the Earth like I never ever could have imagined.
I had taken some psychedelic mushrooms that day and wandered through a park. Every leaf, branch and bird transformed into something magnificent and I saw the forest in a completely fresh and beautiful way.
I flew back to America that next day, emergency passport in hand. I was thoroughly exhausted. I let out the deepest breath I ever had before, fell down on the ground and wept like a baby. I let these experiences and changes soak all the way through my soul.
What an epic adventure! I can't wait to see what next year holds. :)
