I've had to pretend a lot in my life. Starting when I was a young girl, I learned to be scared and internalized that fear as my fault.
I grew up fearing fear, which later turned into anxiety and depression. My body manifested illnesses that would force me into these periods of sickness, and eventually reflection.
Once I reached the point where I had had enough, I realized I had found the exit door!
I started to peak into what was on the other side of that door - feeling respite from the anxiety and panic I sometimes started to feel when I faced fear.
It took a lot of trust in myself before I was able to fully pass through that point of no return. The point where I was able to look shame right square in the eye and tell it to fuck off!
Once I was thoroughly exhausted enough and trusted enough in myself to transform, new and better connections started to pour into my life.
When I say pour, I mean pour! It was like the almighty Faucet of Good Connections had popped a seal and just started to spray good people all over the place.
In retrospect, those good people that are now floating all around me, were actually there all along. I just didn't know what to do with them.
I haven't mastered the art of friendship quite yet, but I'm getting there.
I have learned this master lesson however and wanted to share it with you...
To build better connections, it's important to stop feeling like the victim. That starts and ends with loving yourself and releasing any and all shame.
Doing so, turns "the voices" down. The ones that keep telling you to be scared. Those fears may echo for a really long time, but there is definitely comfort in their lower whisper.
You will be more peaceful this way and that peace will emanate from your being. That's the stuff that attracts good friends into your life.